NORWOOD WILL ENFORCE MANDATORY NAP ORDINANCE

(Wright’s Mesa Recollections – January 10, 2015)
(Goodenough Gulch) The town of Norwood plans to penalize residents who refuse to take an afternoon nap during the month of January. The siestas, suggested to be at least an hour in length, are said to improve the general attitude of the populace and make things more relaxed for everyone.
“People really get crabby around here when winter sets in,” said Morpheus Snoozer, a retired Wright’s Mesa rancher and hibernation proponent. “All they need is a little time-out in the early afternoon and their overall outlook is much brighter.”
Snoozer pointed to the town’s population of dogs and cats, who are known to take a nap at the slightest provocation.
“You don’t see these creatures barking and hissing at people all winter long, do you?” he asked.
Designated nap times will be formulated in alphabetical order, but will be limited to the confines of early afternoon according to Snoozer. People who refuse to cooperate will be sent to bed without dinner.
“No matter what benefits surface, it is inconceivable for everyone to go to sleep at the same time,” he confessed. “Hell, if that happened some stranger could waltz right in and steal the whole town.”
-H.L. Menoken