Trump victim of pick pocket at GOP Convention

(Cleveland OH  —  Cuyahoga Crier  —  August 22, 2016 )

The Republican Party confirmed today that Presidential candidate Donald Trump was robbed during the last night of the recent political convention here.

Hushed up until now the alleged assault, committed by an unknown thief, has gone viral with even the perpetrator kicking in his two-cents. He twittered: Some billionaire he is . Trump had only a paltry sum on him…”

Here’s the party skinny:  “Security personnel are continuing to investigate the so-called incident without prejudice and will get to the bottom of the matter sometime either before the elections or just after breakfast.”

Insiders say local law enforcement suspects that a Democrat infiltrator, disguised as a Trump supporter, committed the crime. Although evidence is slim, police have made several arrests and promise a series of dawn raids so as to corner the perpetrator.

In the aftermath, influential voices within the GOP were heard to question the decision making capacity of a man who would actually carry cash to an event of this type.

“Can a man so careless with his own finances be trusted to run the country?” they asked. “Will we soon see armed robbery at the Federal Reserve? Could Fort Knox be victim to common thieves?”

– Fred Zeppelin