South Dakota Decriminalizes Tennis

(Bismarck) The athletic crowd, decked out in traditional white garb, sent up a rousing cheer this morning with the official announcement that tennis would no longer be an illegal pursuit in the Land of Infinite Variety.
At 10 am, just after an extravagant brunch, the state senate voted 49-3 to “halt all police actions, arrests and detainments formerly associated with the sport or game of tennis.”
Leading civic groups as well as the Deadwood Chamber of Commerce and the Dakota nation lauded the decision. Even the generally stone-faced Mount Rushmore Four cracked a smile when told of the news.
The legislation takes effect immediately and will be commemorated with a world-class singles match between Serbian Novak Djokovic and Spaniard Rafael Nadal. Both U.S. Open champions are longtime Black Hills aficionados and have close relatives in the South.
Rumors circulating the courts this afternoon suggest that Montana, North Dakota and even Wyoming may follow suit and relax restrictive ordinances and regulations regarding the controversial sport within their borders.
– Joshua Pim