Too Many Sex Change Operations Can Lead to Trouble

(Montrose, CO  —  Special to the San Juan Horseshoe)

Doctors at Consolidated Macedonian Hospital in Pea Green have issued a joint warning in response to a growing number of snafus connected to delicate sex change operations performed here.
And on the other side of the knife, the relatively new procedure has been a victim of chronic indecisiveness on the part of prospective patients who cannot make a simple decision. He or she?

Teenie Turner: “I don’t remember when it all started but I know how it ends.”

“Common side effects resulting from too many gender assimilation operations have us all quite concerned,” said Dr. Milty Sponge. “We’ve seen basic gene disorders all the way up to male and female hormone spills. Facial hair on women and overdeveloped mammary glands on men is just scratching the surface.”
Now the gov’ment is getting involved. The IRS and the Selective Service have expressed concern that the agencies might be losing track of citizens who are no longer the same sex as they were last year, or last month. Both are petitioning Congress to pass legislation aimed at charting these patients before and after surgery. Right wing legislators promised to come down hard on abusers then went to lunch while The Left scurried around to form committees to discuss the issue and send some money to somebody to take care of it.

Jane Devere after 15 sex change operations remains in limbo

The flow of American dollars to foreign hospitals has prompted a reevaluation of the issue with many health concerns dropping prices and offering package deals on amenities such pizza delivery, bingo nights and private rooms.
A no frills sex change operation costs an average of $150,000 out the door according to Sponge.
“That’s the basics, the minimum,” he said. “If any problems surface it’s ala Carte.”
A burgeoning number of lawsuits have been filed alleging malpractice and incompetence causing most surgeons to shy away from the operation. Citing moral conflict, most doctors are in reality reacting to legal ramifications and probable fiscal loss in the event that a case reaches court.
Meanwhile economists are sifting through mounds of data to ensure that men are still paid more than women for doing the same job.
“If Jack becomes Jill, she shouldn’t expect to demand the same pay as Jack, now should she?” asked Sponge. “Without federal subsidies these poor, confused souls will rob and steal to pay for their obsessions. Imagine being mugged by a man in pantyhose or woman with a pencil-thin mustache.