Syrian Taxi Driver’s Academy Falls to Advancing ISIS Fighters

(Al Bamm) A strategic taxi driver’s academy logistically linked to three border crossings, six refineries and an abandoned military base, has fallen under control of ISIS militants a senior Iraqi security official said.
The facility, one of the largest in the Mideast, was set to graduate 500 students on Friday. Most of these move to the West and drive cabs from London to Green Bay.
“It was out ticket out of this hell and now it’s gone,” cried one former student, who told of ISIS treatment of prisoners, especially anyone who spoke English.
“May Allah help the cabbie that failed to turn on his meter,” he gasped.
In addition to gains in the North, the Muslim extremists have now shown their teeth in Wawa, Annbar and Al-Bamm,” said the official based in Wawa but on his way out the door for more secure digs.
Border towns are always a prize. They provide strongholds and allow a certain amount of security due to hazy frontiers and strong cultural considerations. No matter the degree of squabbling and contentious line drawing the sand, sooner or later, covers everything over once again.
“It’s not like we’re worried about pissing anyone off,” said Mohammed “Mickey” Sheeke, a tribal warlord who has been engaged in the fighting for over to years. “It’s a little too late for that. We just don’t want to drag Turkey, Iran or Saudi Arabia further into this civil war.”
It was not clear how this defeat would affect transportation in the region or how more U.S. military advisors, expected this week, would get around. Oddly enough it is often safer to take a cab than a jeep when traversing these sand dunes.
“It’s not like they lost a fleet of cabs to these immoral monsters,” said one U.S, Army corporal. “They only had three to start with and one didn’t start. What’s a whole ‘nuther matter is the tanks and missile launchers that ISIS inherited when the Iraqi Army deserted the neighborhood base.”
A squad of rogue Baghdad bus drivers is still holding the entrance to Al-Bamm’s International Airport, which has been contested since early on in the conflict. Concerned as to their fate if ISIS prevails, these fighters have fought off repeated attacks by an ever-expanding force. Bus drivers and Baath Party members (Saddam’s boys) have been at odds since Hussein nationalized transportation back in 1995. The ISIS group (led by many of the same Sunni extremists) wants revenge.
“Much of the stress here is tribal in origin,” said State Department spokesman Wally Handgunne. “What we have here are some angry folks who aren’t getting enough to eat and have no opportunity to improve their lives. Then throw in the constant wind and choking hot weather. We’ve met a taxi cab drivers and a radical mullahs from the same family. It gets very complicated, even to them.” – Merci Plaines