House GOP Votes to Deport Statue of Liberty

(New York) Lady Liberty, already the victim of the arrogance and incompetence of the Homeland Security Agency, may be deported if House Republicans have their way.
Saying the statue sends the wrong message to potential immigrants, John White (R-Mars) has introduced a bill that would send the 150-foot Miss Liberty packing.

Heady action leads to dismissal

“Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breath free,” is seriously outdated,” said White who did not know if his aristocrat descendents had arrived here or in New Orleans in the 1700s. “Right now what our corporate masters need is the obedience and cooperation of the people already brainwashed, not a lot of new loafers living off the system.”
White, born wealthy, has never worked, unless one counts his term in Congress. He has found a great deal of support for his measure within his party. Many Republicans, hoping to play the Jesus card, are placating the Christian voting block by calling for the ouster of “a pagan goddess from a nation of sinners”.
For the historically challenged, Lady Liberty was a gift from France in 1886. The colossal neoclassical sculpture was modeled after Libertas, the Roman goddess of freedom.
“The last thing we need hovering over New York Harbor is more paganism,” said White, adding fuel to his cold, wet fire. “I welcome the Senate vote on this bill and hope our colleagues there share the same values in preserving the pecking order that has been in place since before the Revolution.”
La Liberte eclairant le monde (Liberty enlightening the world) had no comment on the proceedings, her torch of freedom dragging and the chains at her feet tightening by the day. Already some 60 nations have offered her amnesty as a political refugee while several New Jersey developers plan a shopping mall near her base called Liberty Square and a small museum (out back) recounting the statue’s heralded reign here.

Waving goodbye to Ms Liberty

“She has survived 9/11, deterioration caused by salt and pollution, and Hurricane Sandy only to be attacked by another opportunist looking to make a name for himself,” said a supporter. “The people who really run this country have no need of symbols like this. The Americans who support the deportation have no right to live here if they can be so easily manipulated by people like White. They are a howling farce.” – Uncle Pahgre