Colona Airport Dome Big Mistake

(Billy Creek —  December 27, 2015) The madcap plan to construct a massive dome over the expanded international airport is reckless, wasteful and rather pompous. It is also stupid. While we can appreciate the creativity of impetuous parties in Region Zen, the project should be left where it is right now: On a very warped drawing board.
If you listen to the public relations cadre, you would come to believe that the dome would be an incredible asset, one that would certainly dictate a building boom and link Colona with the lucrative ski dollars currently just out of reach.
“We think first impressions are everything,” said Margot Rottweiler, Executive Director of the Colona Alona Committee. “It is important that we keep our visitors cool in the summer and warm in the winter.”
We like the idea that over 300 starving artists from the area could share in the spoils due to the almost three vertical miles of murals planned for the airport. After that feat is accomplished another 10,000 square feet of white space remains inside and outside the dome. The ladders and paint has already been ordered and the committee is quietly compiling the final invitations.
“We considered selling banner advertising on the dome itself but decided to go with an esoteric approach instead,” continued Rottweiler. “Imagine a Redman Chewing Tobacco ad on a red-eye flight from the Bay Area.”
It gets sillier. Built to take full advantage of solar power, the proposed amenity calls for over 50 woodstoves to heat the place at night. It is surmised that this will create jobs for lumber mills and woodcutters from as far way as Pea Green and beyond. Currently there are no wood burning limitations, homeowners associations or government in Colona…just a lot of chickens and elk, and an occasional prowling mountain lion.
“We can’t have our visiting skiers sitting outside on benches where they would certainly be lunch for a hungry predator,” she gasped. “That’s not the kind of publicity that we want.”
Critics fear that aviation accidents will increase some 98% with the dome. They say that the talk of big profits has clouded the vision of their adversaries. They further argue that money saved on such expenses as runway maintenance and snow removal cannot be brought into balance with the potential for loss of life and worse. Salvage rights have yet to be discussed.
“These throwbacks don’t understand basic physics,” whined Rottweiler. “Every time someone tries to implement a positive idea we get these urban pinheads trying to dictate policy to the entire community. Why don’t they focus on something that they understand like repairing the sidewalks.”
Not only is the Colona Alona Committee a bunch of newcomer, idle, pushy hacks but they are mean. Colona has no sidewalks, a sensitive point to most residents here. – Editor