Cheney denied auto loan in 1969

(Montrose – December 27, 2014) Former Vice President and war criminal, Dick Cheney, was turned down for an automobile loan by a Montrose bank in 1969. According to unreliable sources, Cheney applied for the loan while a student at the University of Wisconsin and working a summer job on the Uncompahgre Plateau.
A copy of the original document stamped “unapproved” surfaced last month while the Who’s on First National Bank was relocating from the historic downtown to the strip mall ambience of South Townsend Avenue. The reasons listed for the rejection included Cheney’s spotty employment record and his association with criminals such as Richard Nixon and Spiro T. Agnew, who would later be indicted for a series of crimes against the American people.
Cheney was then forced to take a bus back to Madison. While on that stunning journey, he met Karl Rove and, despite being denied for an auto loan before,  loans were never an issue again.
“Think of what may have gone down had we loaned Dick the money,” said a now retired loan officer who demanded animosity. “Why he might have settled down in Montrose and gone into local politics.”
– Uncle Pahgre