WHAT I’VE FOUND OUT

(September 18, 2015  —  Western Colorado Out in the Forest)

A little bit of jerkwater wisdom, with a shared bath down the hall

It’s better to be born rich than stupid but if the two elements share the main stage the money will surely serve as a great comfort.

Airline food was inspired by hospital food which was itself inspired by train food. Train food first found its inspiration in K-rations. K-Rations…kibble. There is no set cuisine for bus travel.

All Italians want you to think they drive Alpha Romeos and wear $500 sun glasses.

Commenting that the queen of Thailand is “a bit chubby” will upset most Thais and could get you deported.

The drinking community has been decimated by the number of DUIs issued since 1990.

The chances of winning a state lottery are about the same as being struck twice by lightening in a gold mine.

Punctuality is in the eyes of the beholder.

If Iraq held democratic elections today it would be a fundamentalist Muslim state tomorrow.

I’d rather run into a black bear in an alley than a skunk.

The Greek gods and goddesses had it pretty darn good.

It is physically impossible to fill all the handicapped parking spaces in Colorado at one time.

Due to chronic globalization beach ants won’t eat sticky rice on the Andaman island of Ko Lipe.

When the owner of a new SUV spends his evenings delivering pizzas the economy is in for a ride. My other car is a Schwinn.

Ordering the fish special right there on the Mekong River (in front of the fish) is not considered the least bit rude by Laos.

If UN weapons inspectors tried to ply their trade in the US they would get a similar reception as the one in Iran.

Biscuits and Gravy are never mentioned in the Old Testament and, in fact, the dish has Muslim roots. When served beside grits, however, the plate automatically changes its venue to Mississippi.

Elk and bear droppings, while messy, are not a threat to national security at this time. There be a Color Brown alert if the situation worsens?

The United States gov’ment has enough nuclear warheads to hit every square inch of the planet 230 times before anyone has finished his lunch.

It’s really difficult for white men to come to grips with the changes that are right there in front of them. Different status. Groups joining the economy that were once complete underlings.

Dogs are not particularly loyal to other dogs.

Its difficult to make the car payment at a poker table but it sure beats worrying about it.

The best time to embrace adulthood is from 14 -16.

In golf, the value or skill in putting has little to do with stroke, greens or breaks. It has everything to do with putting the little ball into the little hole.

Terrorist is a convenient term that can be applied to corporate murderers as well as murderers motivated by twisted religious interpretations.
– Gabby Haze