All Entries Tagged With: "Rockies"
Boiled Hot Dogs
You will need: 6-8 quality meat hot dogs, pan of water,
access to broiler, 6-8 white flour hot dog buns.
A favorite in our family for weeks now, this gourmet treat can suffice as a snack or an entire meal. It can be easily prepared in the woods or the penthouse with little or no collateral damage.
First: Boil water and add dogs so that they are totally submersed. Boil for about 7 minutes or until water bubbles sufficiently to kill any unwanted bacteria. Remove with tongs so as not to damage the fragile fare
While dogs are cooking place 6-8 buns on cookie sheet and broil or bake at 300 degrees for 4 – 5 minutes. (Slightly more time for altitudes over 14,000 feet). When the buns are crisp remove so as not to burn. Arrange on plate for quick distribution. Then carefully place each tube steak on a bun, garnish with pickle relish, mustard and/or ketchup. Serves 4.
Extras: One can add cheese (slit dog and place horizontal strings of cheese into opening) and bacon to the hot dogs or pepper the buns with jalapenos for a good kick. For a bonne bouche statement slice dogs and serve with baked beans.
Thanks to Belle Toole of Maher
Will pay top market price for crisp analogies, compound sentences and overtly descriptive adjectives. Tuesday only. Mr. Billfold at the Manana Holiday Inn 10 -2 or forward examples and projections to San Juan Horses, Dry Goods El Nino, Colona, Colorado.
May 12, 2016
Taxpayers Place Economic Sanctions on Treasury Department
(Moline — Money Talks — May 11, 2016)
A cell of angry taxpayers has come up with an innovative way to get back at the Internal Revenue Service. They are instituting economic sanctions on an agency and government that they charge is incompetent and arrogant. The group feels that holding back their taxes due might get someone’s attention.
“These government people spend out tax dollars like they fell from the sky,” said Oral Riche, a longtime taxpayer who has had enough. “They drop bombs on civilians and prop up military dictatorships in the name of the American people.”
Riche told The Horseshoe that he plans to enforce the sanctions by depriving “an out of control monster” from further income taxes. Only when others join the populist movement will it have teeth.
“Right now we are only a small thorn in the side of the evil money machine,” he explained, “but with a few million Americans refusing to pay we will have made our point. They can arrest some of us but not all of us.”
Naming corporate welfare as the most serious issue, Riche pointed to garbage public education, twisted foreign policies and the crumbling of basic infrastructure as the targets of this fiscal protest.
“If you cut off their money they can no longer continue to do these evil things in the name of the country. They win when they keep us scared off terrorists when they are the terrorists,” he whispered. “Greed is greed and we don’t expect that to go away overnight. We just want the feds to stop pissing away our money like drunken submariners on a weekend pass.”
– Attila Diggins
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La marihuana colesterol libre – FDA
(Montrose, CO High Times de abril de 2035 10 de mayo 2016)
En un movimiento audaz para proteger una de las industrias más lucrativas de la nación la Food and Drug Administration de Estados Unidos ha declarado la marihuana para ser libre de colesterol. Durante una parada aquí fuentes de la administración superiores expresaron su apoyo para su posterior legalización de la hierba para uso médico y recreativo.
Desde 1950 la FDA y las agencias gubernamentales de salud variados han trabajado para encontrar algo de peligro en el fumar o comer de la hierba. Ellos han encontrado muy poco sobre todo en comparación con otros pecados como el alcohol y el tabaco. Este último anuncio fue visto como una capitulación por algunos, como lógica por la mayoría y como el fin del mundo por otros.
La agencia reguladora insistido en que los crecientes mercados mundiales de cannabis de América del Norte no tuvieron impacto en la decisión.
“No nos importa quien politiza este tema”, dijo un científico. “Los hechos son los hechos y la olla no crea el colesterol malo. Mientras que el fumador de marihuana no está poniendo en riesgo a sí mismo, él no es más saludable que cualquier otra persona “.
Desde la desaparición del uso de combustibles fósiles en 2020 el gobierno federal ha estado buscando activos para explotar. Ahora, en 2035, a pesar de los temores de la antigüedad como de la legalización de la hierba t mal que brink finalmente puede estar a la vista, a pesar de que muchos estados del sur y medio oeste siguen aferrándose a la ignorancia y supersticiones con respecto a la hierba.
La marihuana puede ahora ser vendido junto con el pollo y el pescado ya la vuelta de la esquina del pasillo orgánica.
– Fred Zeppelin
Fascinating Facts
(From the Pea Green Answer Man — Dry Creek Gazette — May 9, 2016)
In Breckenridge, Colorado one must walk a mile out of town to purchase a package of condoms while the same person can purchase a condominium in the restroom at almost any restaurant of bar.
If Brooklyn Dodger owner Fulgencio Batista had only renegotiated the contract of lawyer Fidel Castro in 1956 he might have stayed out of politics altogether and become one of the greatest pitchers ever to play baseball.
If everyone stopped buying life, health and auto insurance in little time nobody else would need it.
Mt Sneffels was named for legendary Yiddish stand-up comedian Marvin Sneffels who performed two shows a summer night for tourists at the base of the peak. His 58-year run ended with his untimely death in 2015.
The deadly Black Widow spider prefers the outhouse to the hen house when settling into a summer home in the mountains. The aesthetics of off-he-grid living, without the conveniences of the 21st Century do not much impress the Brown Recluse variety either.
The Obama Administration sent over 4000 recreational vehicles to Afghanistan to be given away to allies of the United States government. At last check 3900 were still garaged in a secret location in Kabul awaiting shipment.
The White House was once a bed and breakfast prior to the War of 1812 when the British burned it down. After the conflict the mansion was rebuilt and designated as a Presidential residence, a status that it holds today. Although the lodging function is old business the place reportedly serves a nice hot lunch on weekdays.
Shoplifters Anonymous To Convene
(Gunnison, CO — Sticky Fingers Review — May 8, 2016)
Over 3000 members of the burgeoning Shoplifters Anonymous Foundation are expected in Gunnison next week for that organization’s annual convention.
Arriving from points afar such as Key West and Nome the participants will sit through 3 days of strenuous seminars, group therapies and several morning spiritual awakenings. These presentations are meant to toughen up the troops and shed light on the disease of stealing.
The 3000 will then have three hours off each afternoon to hone skills on North Main Street. Merchants, working with the SAF will be able to easily identify potential problem shoppers by the large red diamond painted on each forehead. In addition each recovering crook will display a distinct badge that reads: “I have sticky fingers.”
It is not clear why Gunnison was chosen for the meetings since the city has the nation’s toughest shoplifting laws (Ordinance #611 makes even thinking about stealing a misdemeanor and actual theft punishable by flogging for first time offenders.
Nonetheless the infamous Palmer’s Shindig will begin to arrive Tuesday. The Gunnison Chamber of Commerce urges all merchants and loiterers to extend every Western Slope hospitality during the short stay.
– Small Mouth Bess
Dodgers Moving Back to Brooklyn
(Sunset Park — Flatbush Base Stealer Press — May 6, 2016)
After 57 years in Los Angeles, the Dodgers have decided to return to Brooklyn. The popular franchise will begin its 2016 season in New York according to a team spokesman.
The move was described as fiscal in nature although growing seismic activity, gang violence and increasing smog may have entered into the final decision.
“There are innumerable issues to resolve,” according to a team owner. “But in the final summation we prefer the Big Apple to El Lay.”
The Dodgers will not be able to return to the old haunts of Ebbets Field or even the Polo Grounds since the historic parks were long ago “plowed under”. Negotiations are reportedly going on with existing facilities and the local government.
“It got so that we couldn’t see the pitches, even on a good day,” said player personnel director Melvin “Sacrifice” Toolovich. “Even when the wind blows the pollution stays put out here at Chavez Ravine.”
One option appears to be a rooftop stadium above Barclays Center, the home of the Brooklyn Nets NBA team. That, according to local environmentalists would have less impact on a neighborhood still reeling from urban stadium expansions in high real estate locales. It might also be in keeping with progressive gardening techniques developed in Paris and Berlin. Yields from each of these communities have been impressive and baseball might lower its carbon footprint here, say the experts.
The Dodgers (originally the Trolley Dodgers) will remain in the National League if the relocation is approved at the highest levels. The move is expected to fill the void left by the New York Mets’ abrupt move to Havana, Cuba where people still speak English and understand the dimensions of the slow curve.
– Salte Peterson
