All Entries Tagged With: "Ouray"
Las personas que viven en caminos de tierra más felices
(Djibouti, UPS – Marzo 30, 2016)
Las personas que residen en caminos de tierra son generalmente bien ajustados y dotados de una gran habilidad para hacer frente a la vida, en comparación con sus compañeros que habitan en el asfalto. Según un amplio estudio de los datos se extiende de manera uniforme cuando se aplica a grupos tan aparentemente distintos como de Colorado y de las personas que viven en lo que se conoce con rudeza y rutinariamente como el Tercer Mundo occidentales.
La investigación inicial, realizada por una clase 101 Psicología de la Universidad Estatal Occidental, se ha introducido como evidencia de que lo que parece ser el progreso no siempre es beneficioso para el hombre. Las pruebas de seguimiento no pudieron determinar de forma concluyente si el estado proverbial de felicidad, a menudo presente en las vidas de camino de tierra popular, se debe a las partículas de polvo o un nivel bajo de estrés.
Desde febrero los estudiantes han entrevistado a más de 1.000 residentes de Gunnison a Norwood. En la actualidad están acampados frente a la oficina de correos Redvale, reconoció puerta de entrada al tramo más largo del mundo de carretera sin pavimentar que suena el planeta justo al norte del paralelo 38, se cruza con la Ruta de la Seda, escalas de la cordillera del Himalaya y los vientos que camino de regreso a la Wright Fellowship Church estacionamiento justo al oeste de Pavimentación y Pequeño Reparación de motor de la ya desaparecida de Bob.
– Dama de los Andes
Inventor of Winter Parking Laws Found Shot
(Crested Butte — Bullet-Proof Times — March 29, 2016)
The long recognized Father of Towing and alleged inventor of winter parking laws was found dead aboard his gaudy schooner near Peanut Lake this morning. Leslie Curbe was pronounced celestially detained after four large caliber shells were located in the front of his flabby forehead.
Suicide has been ruled out and police are questioning anyone who has ever received a parking ticket in the town. Challenging parking signs have been repeatedly blamed for the disenchantment of motorists but the warning has gone unheeded for decades.
Only three months ago Curbe was found facedown in an Almont back alley, the apparent victim of an attack with a tire iron. Two days later a large Eastern European woman came forward and took credit for the violence. Curbe survived the ordeal despite below-zero weather and the ruthless gnawing by neighborhood hounds.
Meanwhile his house, occupied by carnivores looking for the local butcher shop that closed in 1979, was condemned by the bored of zoning so as to build a private parking lot. It was then that he took to the sea lanes, moving into the paltry schooner named “Hey Boudreaux” by a notoriously tight-lipped limo driver in the employ of former President Jimmy Carter.
– Marcia Marvelous
GAELTACHT
Driving left of logic
on that mean, misty roundabout
leftover pubs of our roots
four-corpse fried full breakfast to boot
no way to cheat the grave.
It’s one regular Celt cult over here
splashed Eire green, beaches of pebbled priorities
milk skin, freckles and blue eyes.
Ages of breaths held, taken
then released along the boreen.
Blood relatives rolling chimes off lips
famine ships a plenty
brandished by the paths of armies
and mythologies dispatched
by vigilant moss, cutting sea breezes.
Harbor in tears, crashing waves
judged too soon by Cranberry Druids
Risings gone down to deceit.
Land of emigrant departures
Fenian convicts on the Celtic Sea.
James Connolly murdered, May 12th, 1916
said Rosie Hackett
“Changed, changed utterly –
The Terrible Beauty”
The Brotherhood, The Volunteers.
Endless red cavalry stopped
in its tracks by angry fir
with only 1798 pikes against artillery
potato stars and mad mornings.
Easter Monday coming down.
And the lough came into the sitting room
for scones and afternoon tea.
Boatloads of vanquished Blasket Islanders
victims of a fishless ocean
drift toward the rocky An Daingean
Refugees from Europe’s most westerly isles
on to the pretty lanes of Ballyferiter
Paddy’s last name is O’Flaherty
It’s been spoken for time
on the salty, sea lips of liberty.
His whiskey pot still
his days a crisp parity.
Proud angry gods demand their revenge
Kilts and pipes and the rifles of Banna Strand
The blood of Connelly, Padriac and Casement.
The soul of Yeats festering for 800 years…
Brave men hanging dead in London and Kilmainham.
England, you cruel hearted monster
you seek a peasant multitude
but none came forth
but a tri-colored ribbon emerged
cutting your sammy code of colonization
Out west here in the rocks
where they still speak it,
in out of the rain
telling the tale to their children
in careful ancient words.
– Kevin Haley
– Centennial Commemoration of the Easter Rising, 1916
Frog Puts Boy Down Mate’s Back
(Lilly Pad Corner — Leap Frog Lantern — March 27, 2016)
Police are searching for a taller than average tree frog who allegedly placed a squirming small boy down the back of a female frog yesterday. The girl frog has settled down and the boy human has recovered.
“We don’t want to hurt him,” said a local deputy with regards to the frog who is still on the lam this morning. “We just want to talk some sense into him. These reptiles simply have to realize that we can’t have this kind of behavior in New Age Colorado.”
Froggie was “a-courtin” at the time of the incident according to close friends. He was armed with a “sword and a pistol by his side…”
Anyone with information as to the whereabouts of the fugitive amphibian should call an authority figure and not attempt to apprehend the slippery suspect on their own.
Most Trump Supporters Cannot Pass Citizenship Test
(Goodenough Gulch) Despite calling for stricter immigration laws, 72% of Trump supporters petitioned could not pass a basic US Citizenship Exam. Pollsters from both sides of the political fence fear that the findings represent the latest chapter in The Dumbing of America, which will not be televised.
New arrivals and those who have applied for citizenship constantly score higher than the above-mentioned Hee Haw Constituency even though language and cultural barriers are substantial.
“These cerebral eunuchs, the Trump enthusiasts, have had the opportunity to educate themselves but would rather be stupid,” says one behavioral support group. “Stupid is easier and does require much. It’s the herd mentality disguised as some sort of mistaken sense of freedom.”
The Trump group did poorly in English, history, geography and science while showing little mastery of math and Constitutional law. Most would fail the entrance exams by over 50 points despite having had the material presented in high school.
“None have read Voltaire while almost 95 % knew the store hours at the local Wal-Mart. We are all to blame for allowing ignorance to be worshipped in this country,” said a spokesman for the Bad Karma Institute that encourages people to spend more time meditating and reading.
The sad but clear message here is that we have created a subculture that is hostile toward intellectual pursuit, the arts and the preservation of the culture that they say they want to defend.
– Kashmir Horseshoe
“Encouraging others to do violence is immoral, whether you are ISIS, A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE or a radio talk show host.” At least ISIS takes credit for their inspired violence…
Frequent Friar Plan Lambasted by Church
(Roma — Vatican Air Magazine — March 25, 2016)
The Roman Catholic Church has banned its clergy from participating in what is called a Frequent Friar Program. The condemnation comes on the wings of a general announcement instituted by Secular Airlines and its subsidiary companies worldwide.
The invitation from Secular attempts to lure clergy and other spiritually motivated personnel into seeking not only cheaper seats but also a high road to salvation.
“The implication here is that our people can fly around like sunshine clerics and conduct themselves as God knows what and who,” said a Vatican resource, “whenever it is convenient for them to do so.”
Groups of priests and brothers from an assortment of orders had petitioned the Rome for permission to take advantage of the offer saying they could still maintain their spiritually duality without risking so much as one lost soul. They further insisted that the adoption of the program would help with missionary work and as a motivation for others to embrace the holy orders.
“This kind of frequency is not the friar type and the sound waves are bouncing off St Peter’s Basilica this morning,” said an angry Cardinal who demanded infallibility. “The money for vacations should come from the collection plate not by some discounted version of a secular get-away. If our sky pilots want to pursue everlasting life on their own time let them audition for a Sunday morning spot on salvation row with the Baptists and Evangelicals. I hear the money is good.”
– St Roscoe of Links, Earl of Doggieshire, Lord of Hemperland
