Mother Nature Completes Anger Management Classes

(Delta) A clearly relaxed Mother Nature has successfully completed court-ordered anger management classes here in record time leading even cynics to believe she has calmed down. The last few years have seen hurricanes, drought and polar melt occurring at unprecedented rates leading to the mandatory sentence.

“We can’t tell if she has been rehabilitated or if she is just putting on a show,” said one emotions counselor who says he enjoys thunderstorms.

Although on unsupervised parole, for the next two years Mother Nature will be granted full mobility and access to former associates the wind and rain.

“It’s easy to see why she got angry in the first place,” said the counselor. “How would you like it if people trashed your yard?”

Authorities are taking a wait and see approach to further legal action against the former defendant.

“It dawned on him that they were living spirits, their roots buried in the dark earth, they soaked up the energy of the sun and the essence of the moon, moistened by the rain and dew, they understood the ways of the heavens and the logic of the earth. The color of the sorghum suggested that the sun had already turned the obscure horizon a pathetic red.”
– Father in Red Sorghum by Mo Yan.

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