Local Preacher Warns of “Diseased Currency”

(Elysian Fields, Colorado – Nov 28, 2014) Local evangelist Leroy Sainte continues to warn residents of this tranquil seaside village about life threatening maladies carried by $50 and $100 bills. The reverend contends that the U.S. currency harbors communicable diseases that are almost always fatal. He suggests that the faithful, and anyone else interested in surviving the fiscal epidemic, hand over the tainted dough to the Blinding Light First Backwards Church before it is too late. The bulk of the collected funds will be stored in the glove compartment of Sainte’s recently purchased Cadillac sedan until an antidote can be developed. Rev. Sainte reminds his flock that the entire experience is tax deductible.