Local man elected dogcatcher

(Special from The Pea Green Peeper — November 28, 2014)
(California Mesa) Herman Glicke did not attend the police academy or buy in to the them and us mentality while running a squeaky clean campaign for the coveted spot as dog catcher here. Even rivals agree he knows his dog business.
In a close race where Glicke defeated the hugely popular Wally “The Shrimp” Ackerman, the canine vote was the telltale stat. It was the first time anyone can remember when a local was elected dogcatcher.
Glicke, a former piccolo great at Olathe High School seemed a shoo-in after the dogs had voted. In precinct after precinct the results were the same. Most of the humans voted for Ackerman while the dogs, angry at illegal gerrymandering by local Republicans, came out in favor of Glicke.
Olathe has many registered and unregistered dogs, many of which expressed outrage that voting rights had been molested and redrawn so as to suit the powers that be.
“It was a surprise,” said old-timer Salvio Panama, a beekeeper up here on the mesa. “Rumors started by you-know-who claimed that Glicke had a tail. That didn’t work, now did it?”
The position involves pet control and, as the title implies “catching dogs”.
Glicke’s first move will reportedly involve gaining the trust of his constituency.
“I really hate to turn on the dogs that voted for me but that’s politics.”
– Dag Katz