Lizard Petroglyphs Suggest Mesa Verde a Hoax

(Cortez, CO — Conquistador Caves — January 14, 2017)

The famous Ancient Cliff Dwellings and the presence of humans in a communal city built into the mountain, is pure fantasy according to crude petroglyphs carved into the dark cave walls in these mountains. The roughly hewn etchings that predate man give crude proof that the Anasazi may have been out of town from 700 – 1100 AD and not the residents of cliff colonies.

What’s even more amazing is that scientists believe the drawings are the work of dinosaurs!

Detailed scale model murals clearly show the same location in 500 AD and there was nothing there. Again in 1000 AD teams swarmed about the area detecting nothing. Photos show nothing was there, not even a fry bread booth, not even a gas station.

Individual dinosaurs themselves echo the same sad refrain:

“The Ancient Ones are said
to have used this place for bed
but if we’d know for certain
we would have pulled the curtain.
If those little Anasazi 
were out there running ‘round
we’d have eaten them fo’ dinner
No damn artifacts be found.”

(Apologies, but dinosaurs and lizards in general are known for their foul mouths and we are dedicated to being as historically authentic as the laws allow. The dinosaur drawings in caves near Serpent Mound in the Miami Valley of Ohio are quite definitive in recognizing Buckeye Anasazi sons-of-bitches that lived there in 1000 AD, which sheds negative light as to the validity, and the surmised existence of the Western branch of the family. )

In a related piece he first annual Contest to Rename Cortez has two semi-finalists: Hagert and Billy Holiday Village. Now instead of a murderer we can have a singer. The final ballot is slated for early August. Only Montezuma and Dolores County residents may vote.

“In a flood it pays to be tall.” – Philosopher Ming Linh Sang, to Melvin Toolulu , Quang Nam Province, January 12, 2017