Kissing Booth to Benefit Local Pound

(Eunoch County Observer — Special Mañana Edition — February 10, 2015 ) Proceeds from the popular kissing booth at the Eunuch County Fair will be donated to the local canine detention center according to Muriel Etchabarron, a large woman who wanted to get her name in this story
In its fifth year, the booth has raised at least $100 for various local charities.
Standing next to a sign that proclaims: Pucker Up! But keep your paws in your pockets”, Etchabarron says the booth, and the kissing business in general has had its ups and downs over the 38 years that she’s been at it. She recalls smoochers galore some nights, but one night when they went eight hours straight without taking in a dime.
“That was terribly embarrassing especially with the destroyer docked so close by and all those frisky sailors about. We may not be Vogue covers,” she smiled, “but we know how to plant one.
“That was the first year we gave our profits to the dog people over in Wimpton, the actual county seat and service hub for the entire Discomfort Valley,” she said.
Recently released paperwork suggests that every kiss feeds three dogs or six puppies. Two kisses can feed a cat for a week. Caretakers require more sustenance but experts say they can be provender satisfied for about six wet kisses. The booth is open ten hours per day except Sundays. The rest of he equation is dependent on the cost of kibble and on the number of pets cooling their heels at the facility.
One local jokester suggested that the kissing booth cast switch with the residents of the shelter with the animals taking on the role of kisser.
“The way I see it,” said Zelmo Pawns of Molar Pastures, “what we have now is a clear case of the tail wagging the dog. A change of personnel at the point of contact might shake things up. Besides,” he rambled. Who can resist the allure of a warm puppy?” – Dag Katz