Flying Farcheezies to Enter Budget Battle

(Mañana — Real High Times — February 10, 2015) Hungarian high wire artists, Sal and Zelmar Farcheezie will represent “undisclosed principals from the pirate sector” in the ongoing, overheated budget-balancing act now playing the nation’s capital.
According to a story in Circus World Magazine the two longtime tightrope legends have little to no experience in high finance but have spent many hours swinging and balancing themselves on high wires while employed in the Big Top.
Sal cannot keep his checkbook straight while Zelmar must use a calculator to count his fingers and toes. However, decades of expertise up high appears to outweigh inefficiencies in the arena of numbers, graphs and economic jump-starts, promoted jerkwater politicians to convince their constituencies they have the lid on tightly.
“We’ll do our best,” said Zelmar, “but what this gov’ment needs is a magician or a juggler. The current pack of coyotes running things now has practiced cookie jar politics for too long a time. Most of them would faint if they were more than three feet off the ground.”
In any case, the Farcheezies will begin their new posts Monday morning at the Department of Nickels and Dimes. Working alongside them will be the Rubber Man and Bouncy the Clown, strong advocates for the termination of all government, as we know it.
A cloudy master plan dictates the elimination of hedge funds, insider trading, credit cards and lobbyists currently squatting in Washington. Phase two, a more pleasant endeavor calls for a new National Park to be established on the banks of the Potomac. – Melvin O’Toole