Drug Abusers Are Focus of Workshop

(Special to San Juan Horseshoe – Ridgway, CO – February 10, 2015)
Researchers here are recounting tales of drug abuse, which rival reminiscence of Reefer Madness as they explore the ever-darkening picture of drug, abuse in Western Colorado. Horrid accounts of amphetamines, cocaine and heroin locked in dungeon closets, deprived of food, water and sensations for weeks, even months, are beginning to emerge as sociologists and business executives mingle to study this newest perversion among the affluent here in the Land of the Free.
The sponsor of the half-day seminar is The Greater Niwot (Colorado) Institute of technology (GNIT). Director of Perverted Studies, Goldfarb Hooked, told the handful of attendees packed into the Sardine Can Resort that abuse is rampant not only here in the Rockies but virtually everywhere in the nation.
Borrowing liberally from the account of a wealthy Dallas minister, Rev. Orem Hooker Synge, author of the popular “Miles and Miles of Cocaine”, Hooked described how drugs are systematically abused in the Lone Star State.
“People here are far from being contented with abusing drugs through neglect and inattention,” said Hooked, paraphrasing Hooker. “Texans prefer to take a more active role in their ill treatment of controlled substances:
— At a swank party in the Houston suburbs guests hooted and howled when a medical student ground powdered cocaine into a Persian rug with his Bally shoes.
— A group of Del Rio teenagers tied a marijuana cigarette to the bed and thrashed it with their ostrich-hide belts for hours.
— Deep in the Black Forest of Colorado perverted souls have been observed slowly turning the hypodermic syringe on containers of drugs, slowly and tortuously injecting them with salt water.
— In Gunnison, black amphetamine capsules were forced to shiver, naked, outside in freezing conditions while inside revelers consumed hot mincemeat pie topped with whipped cream and drank steaming flagons (and maybe even cauldrons) of spiced cider.
– Fulton Ballew

Filed Under: Lifestyles at Risk

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