California Admits Faults

Special from the coast – December 27, 2014
In a departure from the flash and the past glitter, California today admitted its faults. In a repentant, unbecoming mood, the state identified both Calaveras and San Andreas Faults as its own.
The Golden State reportedly hopes that by coming out of the closet on this, it can better accept the reality of earthquakes and climate disorders down the road. It is surmised that a higher level of trust might be attained with neighboring states in the event of projected problems all along the Pacific Rim.
Most faults are either planar fractures or a discontinuity in a volume of rock. The displacement occurs along these fractures as a result of earth movement. Earthquake magnitude can be measured by these mega-thrusts, while prediction is often left to seismic scales due to molecular shifts and geological phenomenon active in affected regions.
In a prepared statement a state geotechnical engineer confided to reporters that California is seeking help and is enrolled in primary therapy aimed at identifying and correcting imbalances in the social fiber (faults).
As a gesture of sincerity, California has already agreed to reevaluate standing water agreements with several Rocky Mountain States, embracing conservation this time around. A persistent drought has complicated negotiations, often clouding the issues, resulting in misconceptions as to the priorities of the players.
“We’d like to see a moratorium on new golf courses and swimming pools,” said Colorado Rep Oral Noise, (Unitarian-Pueblo). “A fervent display of progressive ideals such as this might help everyone keep his boat afloat.” – Cowboy Mountain Man