Bad roads lead to denture damage

Washboards, bar ditches and chuckholes are often devastating to a set of store teeth according to Dr. Efram Pennywhistle, of the Fourth Republic Dental Junta in Mañana.

“All the flossing in the world cannot change ugly.” – Dr Efram Pennywhistle DFD, LSD, LSMFT

“Just once over a rough landscape masquerading as a roadway is enough to do damage, but a regular diet banging and vibration can be the undoing of dentures altogether,” said Pennywhistle, “if not to mention grinding, clenching and the popular biblical gnashing on drop-offs and tight curves.”

When asked if humans faced the same predicaments with their original bicuspids Pennywhistle retorted angrily, “I only do dentures. I don’t know anything about real teeth but I can’t imagine it helping them.”

The doctor, who claims to have 57 different teeth in his head, suggested wearing a mouth guard and/or simply staying on pavement.

“The dust is nobody’s sweetheart either,” he flinched. A mouth full of dirt tends to yellow the dentures and cause gums to become puffy, enhancing the perception that the wearer needs immediate medical attention.”

– Pepper Salte