Russian Literary Giants Condemn Putin From the Great Beyond

In a chilling statement from the grave, legendary Russian writers Leo Tolstoy, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Vasily Grossman, Aleksander Solzhenitsyn, Vladimir Nabokov, Maxim Gorky, Aton Chekov have condemned President Vladimir Putin.

Alexander Pushkin, generally regarded by the Soviets as a staunch ideological ally, had nothing good to say about the vicious attack on a “brother nation” and refused to defend the actions, choosing to abstain from comment. (Like China and India)

The stumblebum Russian propaganda machine denied that these well-loved novelists had returned in spirit to blast Putin and that the Oligarchs that have been robbing the people (and the military)  for decades.

Tolstoy comes back from the grave to condemn Putin

“Some poor conscript has a zero survival status because Putin’s buddies spent all the money on their lavish yachts,” said a Tatar medium from Saint Petersburg, who has since relocated to Finland. “These soldiers, who have been killed at alarming rates are victims too much like those in War and Peace and One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich.

It was not clear if the erudite novelists, the pride of the Russian people, can have any impact on a rather constipated Kremlin. Many House Republicans who didn’t know exactly where Ukraine was located were torn between supporting Donald’s buddy and supporting democracy for a change.  

The very idea that one of these pariahs would read a Russian novelist was not in anyone’s suggestion box.

Meanwhile Homer and Marge watched television trying to figure it all out.

In a related development, Rasputin was not far behind, lurking covered in the ashes of the Czars. Insiders outside in Red Square say he will hold a press conference in Lviv before the weekend.

“God created war so that Americans would learn geography,” – Mark Twain.

Filed Under: Lifestyles at Risk


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