Ash Tray Surplus Undressed

(Paradox, CO) The abundance of unused ash trays currently serving as memory knick-knacks will be decreased significantly thanks to several suggested recycle programs adopted at the highest levels today. The ash trays, once a major component of the smoking culture, are no longer in demand with the demise of puffing and diminished tobacco use.

Suggestion #1: Get the government involved. Persons anxious to rid themselves of these items are instructed to send them to the thousands of tobacco lobbyists currently working in the nation’s capital. Maybe they can give them as gifts to the Congress.

Suggestion #2: Take action yourself. Many of the ash trays are plastic which make for easy recycling, whereas glass and metal cinder keepers present a more serious problem due to the length of decomposition. Antique and classic ashtrays, as well as spittoons and earthenware creations often fetch a high price and can be sold to collectors.

“We are happy that so many have given up smoking,” said one health official whose expertise appears essential to the cleanup. “We all remember the smells associated with dirty ash trays. Some day our descendants will perceive these objects as disgusting and negative yet historically important mementos, and may store everything from keys to candy to safety pins in them.”

Up till now authorities had been concerned that the ash trays might fall into the hands of terrorists or used by marijuana smokers.

Anyone bogged down by the presence of these soot and ember depositories can now recycle safely and easily. It’s the patriotic thing to do,” said the source. – Ripple Van Winkle