Colona Faces Another Summer With No Gov’ment

With just 17 months to go to go before another meaningless and expensive election charade, Colona is still without local gov’ment.

Colona, Colorado in the shadows of the San Juans is, still without local gov’ment. “Whatever shall we do?” say residents who, as of this morning, have yet to petition for state of federal intervention.

Agreeing that “Colona is a town that is not in need of leadership,” quad-mayoral candidates are lining up then sitting back down. Voters here are expected to vote to firmly against any legislative changes in the county’s third largest burgh. Most say they hope to go on with daily pleasantries unburdened by town gov’ment.

“Does anyone here understand how much $ it takes to feed even one small gov’ment?” asked one resident. “We have been taking care of ourselves for many decades here and don’t need local government officials skimming off the top.”

The Colonese have continued the practice of paying taxes to each other. In an attempt to prepare for a potential landing by a ruling body they say the drill keeps them alert and “provides a little pocket money”.

“I don’t mind tithing with my neighbors,” said one resident. “He’ll probably just grow sqash with it and give me some at harvest.”

Meanwhile a suspicious shipment of whitewash, in crates marked USA , was delivered Friday. Many fear it is the beginning of the end to glorius yet phantom and absent self-autonomy.

“Government is like going out on a date with Ayn Rand and asking who will do the driving,” said someone or the other.

– Melvin Tululu