Biden to nationalize ski areas

(Ruby) Freshly elected President Joe Biden has asked Congress pass a bill calling for the nationalization of all ski areas by 2024. In so doing he keeps a campaign promise to subsidize recreation in the United States thus creating a fitter, more positive populace. The acquisitions would apply only to existing resorts currently licensed by the United States Forest Service.

“Our goal will not be to build seasonal hotels and condos,” said a spokesman for the White House. “We will build infrastructure and invest in alternative sources of energy right there on the slopes. We intend to make these resources profitable while lowering prices for families with an annual income of less than $100,000.”

The proposal received a cold shoulder when first unveiled at the Petit Snodgrass (Foie Gras) Summit last month.

Saying that since private operators are already camped on what is federal land, the transfer of the properties in question should go quite smoothly. The President did not elaborate when asked how the land would be used in the off-season nor was he willing to confront the knee-bending issue of snowfall possession/legal ownership.

Biden was captain of the ski team at the University of Hawaii according to adoring supporters interviewed outside the Capitol.

“Or maybe that was Barack Obama,” frowned one.

Geographically Challenged?

Boebert: “Those East Coast elites want to tell me how to behave. I won’t do it.”

Monitor: “But isn’t your hero, DonaldTrump from NYC?”

Boebert: “Well he’s not from the East Coast anymore. Don’t you listen to POX News? He moved to Florida.”