Pagans agree on missionary budget
M. Toole | Jul 02, 2020 | Comments 0
(Salem, MA) Loosely assembled pagan groups, meeting here today to commemorate witch burnings in the 1600s, have established a coordinated, tight and secure missionary budget for 2021.
Leading voices extended thanks to those in attendance and promised strict monitoring of funds throughout the year so as to insure the smooth flow of philosophies in mega times of fear, intolerance and superstition.
Recruiting $0
Guilt distribution $0
Dogma $0
Promises of eternal salvation $0
Burning in Hell $0
Ritual $0
Tithing $0
Congregational development $0
Evangelism with the underserved $0
Stewardship and fund development $0
Discretionary monies $0
Ordination exam fees $0
Hymn books stolen $0
Propaganda $0
Staff $0
Hall rental $0
Capital fund drive $0
Parking $0
Pew maintenance $0
Pastor salary $0
Gullibility ratio $0
Total amount spent on morality enforcement and mortality predictions $0.
-Jim Crow
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