Woman Rescues Moose From Pool

(Miller Mesa — Ridgway Follies — October 30, 2015)

Olivia Tinkleholland was just out for a quick swim in the backyard when she claims she heard cries for help. A storm was brewing and a large Bull Moose was having trouble treading water in her tiny swimming pool.

“He was struggling then he completely disappeared from view. I knew I had to act,” said the reluctant hero.

Despite raging torrents and record waves she dove in and swam to the rescue. Repeatedly diving below the surface and wrapping her exquisite body around the drowning animals’ torso she finally managed to pull the 900-pound to dry land.

Olivia Tinkleholland Consoles New Moose Friend on Dry Land Once More

Adrenaline pumping, she dragged the waterlogged beast out of harm’s way.

“I held his head back out of the water and latched on with my arms around his neck,” she said. Once we were out of the pool he seemed to relax, to trust me,” she sighed. “It’s a good thing I kept up with my moose to moose resuscitation techniques.”

Tinkleholland exhibited her well-documented “wicked kick” in order to bring the animals back to its senses. Exhausted she still maintained the prudence and clear presence of mind to skillfully scan the water for other creatures in peril. Seeing that all was well she returned to the moose and comforted him until authorities arrived.

“It’s funny that the woods are full of hunters looking for a moose and I found a new friend in my own backyard,” she smirked.

A sheriff’s deputy told The Horseshoe that while moose sightings of this kind are rare they do happen and everyone must be on the alert.

“No one should be surprised at what the run-off might bring, even this time of the year.

Meanwhile happy ending henchmen down in town are suggesting that Tinkleholland is a seriously out of touch with reality and that the moose did not need rescuing.
– Uncle Pahgre