Colorado poised to lose billions in foreign tourist dollars this summer

Tourism from Europe and countries all over the world appears to be in big trouble in 2026. Sure, we still have the traditional credit card wielding southern visitors and the weekenders from the Front Range passing through. And yes, the second home owners are still here, but an international, generally pleasant, often affluent sector of Colorado’s tourism is being diluted if not gone altogether due to fear of Immigration police and ICE thugs.

“These people have read about the arrogance and incompetence of federal officials who would rather send someone to a holding facility than whistle dixie,” said a reliable source in the Minnesota mayor’s office.

“They have read about murders committed by Nuevo Nazis and raids on the homes of aliens and US citizens alike,” piped another travel agency web designer whose grandparents survived the occupation of France in the 1940s. “Many Europeans undoubtedly remember other hostile regimes and the reluctance of their parents and grandparents to cross those borders for necessities, business and especially pleasure.”

Although xenophobia has been globally persistent for centuries and still exists today, the most lethal and festering example might have occurred during the period up to and during World War II when foreign visitors ran the risk of being detained and harassed if not just held in contempt by a brainwashed provincials and oafish constables.

Accessible figures on tourist dollars flowing into Germany dropped significantly 1933- 1945 and Japan more drastic (even in the midst of victorious autocracy) figures emerged. Tourist visits and other telltale data in Italy remained solvent, with El Douche and his buddies claiming prisoners in concentration camps on official guest rolls. Spending in conquered countries circumvented previous figures in places like Mongolia, Ethiopia, Poland, Greece and North Africa even before Adolf Hitler’s birthday in 1931. Russia has relied little on foreign tourism but even that sad statistic it hit an all-time low during the Stalin dictatorship.

“It’s simple enough, “ continued the second source: People don’t like to go on vacation where totalitarianism reigns and freedoms are being whittled away like a twig from a once mighty oak under a sharp blade. It makes them nervous.”

Source: I earned my MBA in tourism in night school – Pea Green Academy Curriculum: Cash register comfort/credit card manipulation, how to handle a rare cash payment for worthless souvenirs/How to deflect senior discount requests/intimidation with dogs and stories about bear attacks…The stance at the cash register. Parade rest, feet firmly on level surface / leaning on canes, walls, lame conversation to make your daily goal/taxation without clarification – taking liberties with the IRS.

Meanwhile WSUC in Gunnison expects to offer a Master’s Degree in sports micro-management this autumn. With a focus on adverb use and the inherent power of silence through the joys of dead air. Flank the critics with this popular and timely degree! Talk to your life coach today!

Apology: We mistakenly headlined a recent story: Scallops become prawns in Japanese tiff with China. The headline should have said Scallops become pawns…We are sorry if anyone was hurt by our insensitive reports on this matter.