Weather Wong Again

(Silverton – March 25, 2014)
The Natural Whether Cervix has confessed en masse to the occasional sharing of false or distorted information but now it has become an annual affair. Today the NWC announced that it would simply recycle weather reports in that they are cyclical and often are the same anyway.
People who actually believe in atmospheric predictions have been duped for decades, say meteorologists. How could anyone be so gullible to think we could pull climatic prophesies right out of thin air? Will it snow? It could since it is winter and all. Where do the winds come from? We don’t have a clue. Hell, we can’t see the sun today with all the rain clouds. Even the narrowest plebe could follow the leads and suggestions here.
“Our dartboard weather alerts and zero-based, finite calculations have been dismally inaccurate and, due to budget constraints, we simply can’t afford this kind of luxury in the future,” said the late, legendary Manny Mawrin, former all-pro weatherman from Indiana. “Then it came to us: Why spend all that money monitoring the weather when we could just make it up for about half the cost?”
The forecasters expect to save a considerable chunk of change with this new approach. Recycling will afford the entire lot with more leisure time in which to eat doughnuts and read the sports page. – Susie Compost