TOWNIE CELL PHONE PROGRAM PRAISED

Ed note: The much-praised traveling cell phone program was abruptly cancelled in March of 2019. Residents are still perplexed as to controversial state and county decisions. “It’s like living in Russia.,” said one snow monkey.

(Crested Butte) The traveling Townie Cell Phone, available to anyone who needs to make a call while in town, has covered a lot of miles up and down Elk Avenue since the program started in September. The service, relying entirely on the honor code and a small cell phone, has been called a success by residents and tourists alike.

Fortunately it’s all quite simple. The designated cell phone plan, like the townie bike concept of years gone by, requires a strict adherence to logistics, fair consideration of the needs of others and credit card. Potential users can pick up the cell phone at any one of four locations on Elk. It is perfectly legit to bring the phone anywhere in town to make calls just so long as it is returned to one of the Hot Spots, which change weekly for security purposes.

Phone calls and costs are then recorded on the caller’s Federal Identification Card and transferred overnight to an appropriate credit plan.

“It beats having to carry a cell phone around,” said Melvin Toole, who uses the service at least 20 times per day. “My cost is kept down and the convenience is unparalleled.”

Long distance calls will be surcharged 15% during slow times and 20% during peak season. A proposition is in the wings wherein a further 1% sales tax might someday pay these costs but for now it falls to the individual consumer.

“This is nothing less than a sociological Quantum Leap,” continued Toole. “Any community that does not get on the bandwagon is missing the boat.” 

– Estelle Marmotbreath

Filed Under: Reflections on Disorder

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