TOOLE TURNS COUNTRY

by Princess Irm Peawit, Music Editor

(Nashville) A man who made millions penning revolutionary songs in the Sixties has turned his attention to the country and western scene. Melvin Toole, a former street musician and experimental percussion protege for such standouts as The Monkeys, Donnie Osmond, Tom Jones, Charley Pride and the late Lou Reed, has finally arrived.

Leaning heavily on heart-wrenching lyrics and repetitious, pounding twang, Toole has captured the hearts of country and western fans from Branson to Bemidji. His overnight success has startled the music world and left other, less responsive writers in the dust.

The diamond-studded cowpuncher, who will be appearing at Roscoe’s Gumbo Shack this weekend, is known for such classics as Okie from Muskogee, Will the Circle Be Unbroken, Coal Miner’s Daughter and I Walk the Line. Intertwined with old favorites will be selections from his newest compact disk entitled Thank You Jesus For Driving Her Out of Town, which is now available on the Testosterone Brothers label.

Check out these lyrics from the title song: My honey done left and I can’t get it right, She once held the candle and now it’s a knife. I’m eating the day and drinking in the night, still casting away but I can’t get a bite.

Note the impeccable rhyme sequence in the second line. It reminds one of Toole’s earlier accomplishments in the classic Amazin’ Grace, which he wrote on the back of a discarded seed catalog he found in a dumpster in 1979:

Amazin Grace, how sweet though art, I’d have fought with Robert E. Lee. I once was lost but now I’m found. I was blind but now I see. Incredible! Toole blends the enlightened jolts from his own spiritual roller coaster with a fine appreciation for seizing psychotic parameter and his willingness to keep fighting the Civil War. Since creating the song Toole has pocketed millions awarded in law suits against mortuaries and private individuals for unapproved use of the piece at funerals, and in rare cases, at weddings and barmitzvahs.

Toole with his drummer, Tokyo Jose on the South Platte in 1990.

His pop, cash generating hit If You’re Really Leavin’ At Least Your Momma Won’t Be Hangin’ Around My Double Wide No Mo’ is a weak attempt at humor amidst the pain of separation from his accountant while out on the road.

In an early version of his top selling album Nashville Skyline Toole seduces his audience with lines like: Lay lady lay, lay across my big brass bed. Lay lady lay, stay while the blight is still ahead. His mind is dirty but his hands are clean and you’re the only thing he’s ever seen. Wow! Toole’s images grab epic helping of pathos and the constant frustrations of the jerkwater male in the 21st Century.

In addition to writing soul searching lines Toole has also managed to make his mark in literature turning prose into poetry and poetry into a quintessential tour de force unequaled by all others with the possible exception of Hank Williams and Johnny Paycheck. His recently completed play, called Hamlet is expected to be yet another box office smash. (It opens under the stars at Pea Green Constabulary in August).

Often beginning his concerts with the ever-popular Stand By Your Man, Toole usually picks a young woman from the audience to help him with the rendition. In fact, if Toole would simply have avoided young women from the start he might be able to pay his electric bill today. But what does it matter in retrospect?

Some surprises: If this press release is correct Toole will be unveiling a new songs such as: If the Lord Done Forgive You, I Guess It’s All Right By Me, Porcelain Wall Flower, Ruby, Ruby Ridge and I Really Want To Punch Out That Feller By the Jukebox.

Known for lengthy performances Toole’s most recent public appearance lasted over 24 hours which still breaks down to about five dollars per hour at the current ticket rate. In the event of a sellout Toole has promised, in the fine tradition of George Jones and Jerry Jeff Walker, not to show up at all. Enjoy the show.

We’ll leave you with yet another barrage of clever lyrics penned by a man who has seen the penthouse and the gutter often within a time span of minutes. It’s called I’m On the Choppin’ Block With You:

Your corrugated lips,
those over-rated hips,
Your face in the morning dew,
I should have seen you comin’,
Honey, I’m on the choppin block with you.

Those late nights at the slaughterhouse,
You think I had no clue,
Too bad you’re still in high school,
I’m on the choppin’ block with you.

Fallen angels through the smokescreen
Vegematic rendezvous
Your dog may have the mange
Of all the vegetables I chose you.

The day we met we parted
As you stirred your magic slew
Just stop what you got started
Before my toes turn blue.
Honey, I’m right here on the choppin’ block with you.