The wonderful world of insects and spiders

Another informative submission from THE NATIONAL BUG — FEB. 25, 2015
Interesting anecdotes and strong indications that the
human race is not the only inferior species on the planet

Ants keep slaves. Certain species, the so-called sanguinary ants in particular, raid the nests of other ant tribes, kill the queen and kidnap many of the workers. The workers are then brought back to the captor’s hive where they are coerced into performing demeaning and trivial tasks, often for less than minimum wage.

Termites are not related to ants. They are part of the cockroach family and damn proud of it.

A house fly usually lives in Colorado for two weeks then flies back home to go back to work only to return for a week during ski season.

Only the female bees work. Males remain in the hives watching football and drinking bad lite beer. Their only true mission in life is to fertilize the queen on her maiden flight (debutante ball, coming out party, quinceaneras, etc.) For this sole purpose, literally thousands of males are hatched, out of which one or two of them actually mate with the queen. Sound familiar? After they have served their function, the males are never again allowed back into the hive and must sleep on the couch for the rest of their relatively condensed, albeit honey-proned and buzzing, lifetime.

Cockroaches have lived on the planet for 250 million years without ever changing their underwear.

There are more beetles on Earth than any other living creatures, with the exception of bad sports commentators and munitions lobbyists.

Only the female mosquito bites. The male considers this to be the mark of a sissy and prefers to box with its prey. The male is squashed with the same regularity as the female even though he is harmless.

If one places a minimal amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death. This is one of the reasons one does not observe these arachnids hanging out in bars. If you intend to try this experiment we prefer you utilize cheap booze and not waste anything good on these miserable bastards.

A cockroach can live for several weeks with its head cut off. Many humans live for 80 years or more with no brains in the head that they maintain.

The bombardier beetle, after digesting a bean burrito, defends itself by emitting a series of explosions, not unlike a World War I gas attack. The successive noises sound a lot like miniature shotgun poof and are accompanied by a cloud of reddish-colored, vile smelling fluid. It is recommended that one avoids elevator rides with these flatulent terrestrials.

Bees have five eyes. There are three small eyes on the top of the bees’ head and two large ones in front. The creatures see you very well and know who swatted at them and who chilled out when they buzzed. If bees counted cards, they might be able to make a killing at the casino.
– Sammy Spiderhausen