Team Hook Up Files Chapter 11, Promises Comeback

Principles may have left town last night says sheriff

Colona had quickly become the computer-dating hub of the Rockies…then the pandemic ended it all. Since local courting helper, Team Hook-Up relied on personal contact evaluation and not virtual romance business dried up when close up encounters became a no-no.

The industry had hurled itself on an unsuspecting public back in the fifties disguised as payola radio and seedy, traveling game shows. After a three-decade spree the dating scene had generated an estimated 4.2 billion dollars in revenue and real estate.

That money has since disappeared leaving consumers wondering whom, if anyone, to trust. The cash was liquidated over time while the real estate was buried out in someone’s yard or some such arrangement.

Nonetheless boards were coming off the windows on Hotchkiss Avenue the morning and Team Hook-Up associates were making their way to their hermetically sealed cubicles with fine mist disinfectant spray receptacles, foot fumigation floor mats and assorted weak alliteration. They were hoping for their paychecks.

“A brand new virtual dating site should be up by next weekend,” read an ad in The Wildcat Creek Fur Ball, a local weekly covering the wool market and the town’s business news, peppered with naughty gossip from up on Log Hill.

It reports that county investors were burned when the most recent operators left town with bailout cash and personal stats on over 3 million anxious romantics.

“Local participants can continue the “semi-interrupted service” via letter writing, crusising the second-hand stores and hanging out in front of Montrose Wal-Mart. “Church is still a damn good place to meet other singles.” counseled the paper.

-Fred Zeppelin