Simpson mug to don voting booths

(Cosmetics and Gulches — Montrose, Colorado – July 10, 2015)

The halting, yet familiar face of cartoon celebrity Homer Simpson will grace all official voting booths in 2016. Simpson, who best exemplifies the mindless pursuit of the 21st Century carrot, often casts his ballot based on hearsay, rumors and billboards that he reads on the way to work.
“He’s a big fan of talk radio too and even catches a few the TV news unless he doses off on the couch instead,” said his wife Marge. This is the biggest thing that’s every happened to anyone in our family.”
Analysts feel that Homer Simpson could be the new poster child for the new peasantry and the American Oligarchy.
“He’s not real bright,” said one political behaviorist “is afraid of what he doesn’t understand and can be easily manipulated. His decision making capabilities, conversation level, and me-first attitude, along with well-documented immaturity and a seriously undeveloped personality make him the perfect choice.”
Simpson narrowly beat out Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton for the honor.
“Now all that’s left is to choose the colors for the booths. I expect we’ll go with yellow and blue, with big red swollen eyes and an intruding beer belly,” said a brainchild of the decorations. “We want all the booths to be uniform and all the voters to look alike. If that isn’t democracy I don’t know what is.” – Ripple Van Winkle

Filed Under: Soft News


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