Prostitutes Must Declare Gratuity

The Internal Revenue Service has put its foot down in the red light district. As of January, prostitutes working within the confines of the United States must declare tips if they wish to remain in compliance with the law.
The changes on the part of the taxing establishment sent shock waves through the underworld just as many sex workers were getting off the night shift Tuesday morning.
Many persons engaged in the illegal profession were visibly upset over the decision saying the IRS had once again overstepped itself, this time in a pair of racy stilettos. Calling the move an invasion of privacy many hookers say the government should look inward for lucrative sources of earnings.
“Why doesn’t the IRS clamp down on Congress and Wall Street where the big, fat whores reside,” asked a streetwalker who says she has not filed a tax return since 1995 when she quit her job as a social worker.
“These people should be made to declare bribes and gifts from lobbyists,” she said. “They all talk out of two or three sides of their mouths. Many of the pseudo-Christians are our best customers.”
The IRS has not wavered on this new fundraising scheme saying it is for the common good. Most civilized countries in the world allow prostitution within certain parameters and treat the social ill as a disease and not a felony. The victims are plentiful and the oldest profession is thriving.
“We just want to protect all of our citizens in this Puritan, 3.2 society that we have created here. After all, negotiating with money under the table can result in a terrible headache.” – Estelle Marmotbreath