Power Surges Plague Elderly

(Eureka, CO — Wind Power Press — January, 20, 2015) Annoying and often perilous power surges are the result of inactivity and worn out parts says a noted physician here. Idle hours can create buildup of diverted power and then poof…an unknowing or unnoticed discharge of displaced energy.
The schematic is really quite simple. The energy collects in all kinds of cavities and organs of the body and hides out until it cannot contain its giddy enthusiasm for outflanking the human immune system.
“It is a human tendency for people to become more sedentary as they age,” said Dr. Simon Lackluster (who is not really a doctor but is often quoted as one when we need a expert reference). “Then, when the situation demands action they fly into it jerky-jerky just like they were still 21. Up and down, back and forth, between the routine…I get tired watching them,” said the doctor.
Responding to these summations, one older reader told our editor that Lackluster was an idiot.
“My power surges come first thing in the morning but diminish as the day wears on,” he offered. “By night I am in need of serious recharging. This quack’s diagnosis makes about as much sense as this story.
“Imagine if you will, the inside of the doctor’s head as a small cranial hydroelectric power plant. Now imagine a January ice storm inside there all mixed up with the hydroelectric trinkets. The results are galvanizing!”
The gentleman, who asked to remain agronomist, said that power surges can be harnessed and used in many positive ways. He added that he was tired of society discarding seniors instead of recycling them.
Readers may recall that “Doctor” Lackluster suffered a voltage disturbance back in 1927 when an incompetent nurse dropped him from an extension ladder in his steel nursery. He has exhibited as many as 34 distinct personalities, but never in one sitting.
The nurse, whom he later married, was never charged in the incident.
If you have been experiencing unwanted or accelerated power surges call your electric coop. – Suzie Compost