Plowing of Wildflowers gets Go Ahead

(Crested Butte) A  scheme to plow under half of the Colorado’s wildflowers gets underway this afternoon in response to overwhelming data claiming that the vegetation is a threat to the boreal toad. The controversial plan, which seeks to protect the natural habitat and mating rituals of the legendary toad, is the brainchild of state and local biologists.

The status of the region’s romantic skunk cabbage remains undisclosed since it does not reproduce at magnified proportions like wildflowers. During one sunny day in the summer more than a million varieties of wildflower emerge as if from thin air consuming everything in sight. Traditional toad sustenance as well as shrinking wetlands further cloud the conflict inherent to toads and wildflowers.

“We know that the boreal toad is threatened and that his numbers have severely decreased over the past ten years,” said one University of Colorado biologist. “We think the toad lives in the Elks but we have yet to see one.”

“Every species in this rough country is competing for water,” said a Rocky Mountain Biological Laboratory. “Toads need water, so do wildflowers, bears, trees and ski areas. It just comes down to priorities.”

In addition to creating plowing jobs the move is expected to better showcase the remaining flowers.

Nature enthusiasts are reminded that, despite the plowing, picking wildflowers is strictly forbidden  and punishable by fines and imprisonment.

“Collecting boreal toads is also verboten but feel free to take as many of other toad species as you like,” said the RMBL source. “But keep your hands off our marmots.”       – Small Mouth Bess