Pleasure Boats banned from treatment plant

(Ouray) The City of Ouray announced that recreational craft larger than 40 feet in length would be restricted from cruising the Lake Ouray Water Treatment Plant north of town. Citing past recklessness and a slew of safety violations as the cause for the prohibition, the town has no plan to submerge new slips until spring.
Saying that the plant was never meant for pleasure boats or recreation, a municipal source suggested that the prevalence of seasonal aromas as well as the close proximity to Ridgway Reservoir factored in on the final decision. Our source then invited reporters up to the poop deck to get a better look at the logistics that remain a sensitive point with both sides in this long awaited confrontation.
Splinter groups loosely aligned with Pitchfork Party militias have threatened “to sabotage water projects in the county until someone stops to smell the roses.” – Manuel Flushe