Pen Pal Murderer Released

(Special to the San Juan Horseshoe – Nov 28, 2014)
A jury decided in favor of leniency today in the case of Darrel Ducktape, a former convict accused of killing his pen pal. In a unanimous vote the 11 man, 1 woman panel recommended that Ducktape be freed due to “cruel and unusual falsehoods blatantly repeated within an aggravated state of affairs”.
Tears flowed freely in the quartroom as the defendant gave his account of the tragedy.
“I had begun to correspond with Irm (Peawit) in 1989 after she sent me a photograph,” cried Ducktape. “All the time I thought I was writing to this lovely fox, but the picture was really that of her cousin, Molly. When I was paroled I went to Eureka to pay her a surprise visit only to meet the real Irm Peawit who was bald, older than me and 30 pounds overweight. She had lied to me. I lost my head,” he sobbed.
On a lighter note, Molly Peawit and Ducktape, who met during the proceedings, plan December nuptials. -Warren of Wexley