Obama Slams Black Friday

(Special to The Horseshoe from The Honolulu Pearl – May 10, 2015)

President Obama today slammed Black Friday expressing strong distaste for the entire concept, threatening to veto the retail practice in 2015.
Saying that the entire concept derides humans and benefits only the credit card companies, the Chief Executive identified what he called “callus consumerism and bottom-feeder disregard for one’s neighbor as a destructive element in our descending social networks.”
“We spend Thanksgiving being thankful for what we have then the very next day we go out and buy a lot of crap we don’t need,” said the President.
A White House spokesman went on to say that the American public is riding on improprieties and turning our most cherished holidays into a competition for who goes home with the loot.
“As a nation we need to stop this nonsense and get back to what is important: family, personal responsibility and concern for one’s fellow man, not more plastic,” he stressed.
The State of Colorado, tapping excess resources leftover from The Affordable Care Act, offers counseling and in-patient care for the chronically maladjusted.
“We cringe at the thought that other holidays will adopt this animal approach,” continued the spokesman. “Valentines Day is dead in the water but holidays such as Earth Day and July 4 and have maintained their integrity in the face of corporate socialism.”
Actually this is the same old whining and there is not much more content here. We just liked the headline. – Dinty Moor

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