More “TOOLE ESCAPES”

(Continued from The Gamey Bird — June 10, 2015

and fell through the heavy brush. Toole was then deloused, debunked and debriefed and flown directly to Airububi, in the remote western sector of the sniveling little republic. Sadly a malfunction on the flight deck mini-bar caused the helicopter to whirl and spin before plummeting to the earth, delivering the hapless Toole to blood-thirsty cannibals in the jungle below. It was at this time that a fellow officer, this one a Brit, introduced Toole to the ravishing Princess Irm Peawit, “Mistress of the Nile” and heir to the Oscar Meyer meat fortune . Peawit had run off to Africa after the Cubs lost the play-offs in 1985 and fell into slavery in July of the following year. Peawit and Toole immediately began planning their escape by river or sky.
Upon his arrival in Airububi Toole had noticed a system of microwave towers strategically placed at nondescript intervals throughout the country. If Toole and his exotic accomplice could reach the first tower undetected they had a chance. Then he could deliver the unsuspecting princess to her parents in Lake Forest and collect the handsome reward of 300,000 pounds of prime bacon. The entire plan was contingent on
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