MORE NEWS TO CHEW ON…

Candidate Negates Effects of Global Canning

Damage to the Ozone, due to increased global canning in the autumn, has been crudely exaggerated beyond the limits of even the radical, liberal agenda according to a three-time candidate for Gunnison dogcatcher who blames the whole mess on the whales.

Giant Dinosaur Turd Park Limits Access

A controversial decision to cut back fall tours at the popular Giant Dinosaur Turd National Monument has created a potentially explosive situation that could ruin Thanksgiving plans for many of the state’s homeless. The problem: An environmentally fragile eco-system there cannot handle the throngs.

GORILLAS CONTINUE TO HOLD OIL EXECUTIVES

“We cut off all their heads but they just grew back,” say primate captors who accuse petrol freaks of price gouging. “Next time we’ll try salt or the head of a match,” they said in a taped interview Friday.

Study: Obese People Often Fat

A recently completed study conducted by the fettered government has discovered that persons considered obese by accepted world health standards are often overweight too. What does this have to do with aerial tattoos?

Are Ethnic Foods Subverting the Real America?

Sushi or Stromboli? Pad Thai or Empanadas? Schnitzel or Burritos? Are foods from other cultures drowning out local cuisine and diluting the good ol’ red-meat American burger experience?

Filed Under: Reflections on Disorder

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