Poets, Actors Driven From National Mall

(Washington – Freedom Team Release – May 10, 2015)

House Republicans today introduced a bill that call s fort he prohibition of “unruly elements” from federal property. If the measure passes in the House and Senate artists, philosophers, writers, poets and actors will be banned during business hours.
Members of these fringe groups must register with Homeland Security and vacate the premises in line with the restrictions proposed.
“It was getting so that lobbyists and limo drivers couldn’t get through the mobs,” said Rep. Orville Teete (R-Ga) who has not been convicted of tax evasion, war profiteering or white supremacy leanings in the past six months.
“When we succeed at ending Social Security, Medicare, Unemployment Insurance and the food stamp programs these types will cease to be an threat to our democracy,” said Teete.
It was not clear if the action precipitates from a controversial change that keeps the Congress open 24 hours a day in 2015.
Meanwhile data has emerged regarding the current names for Washington area airports. According to a last will and testament Pierre LaFonte, the architect of the United States’ capitol, the airports should be named after DC native, Duke Ellington and former Redskins’ quarterback, Sonny Jurgensen instead of Ronald Reagan and John Foster Dulles. LaFonte had stipulated that a great part of his lucrative estate would go toward securing these deathbed directives.
Since the Congress acquisitioned and spent the funds long ago, that governing body appears to have no choice but to yield to the wishes of LaFonte.
Naming our airports after the Duke and Sonny sends a strong message to the rest of the world that the United States has come to its senses and will cease naming crumbling infrastructure after crumbling politicians.
“Naming an airport after a politician is like naming your house after the crook who robbed it,” said one poet, the victim of police fire hoses. “I don’t think my poems are conducive to the master plan.” – Alfalfa Romeo