LOCAL POWER OFF

(Wimpton Towne — July 8, 2016)

The local electricity will be shut off at approximately 4:18 am on May 22 so that necessary repairs and adjustments can be made in accordance with an abundance of solar and wind-generated power. The traditional snail-wire power will be restored at 5:28 on November 6. We hope that none of our beloved customers are inconvenienced by this lapse in service. Strategic Power Points will remain connected to the grid due to those large nuclear missile emplacements that were built last fall north of the population center. If anyone has issues with this plan they should leave the country.