Link Hedges on Political Endorsements

(Pomona, CO — Genetics For Life — Sept 2016)

In a rare departure from departures, The Missing Link today declined to endorse any politician for office in November. Evading reporters while dodging a troop of police officers intent on his capture, the swaggering Link continually defied gravity and the laws of space and time.

Redefining the playing surface, the Missing Link, a master of multi-tasking, showed both innovation and good taste in his spurious action. His curious fan base, waiting patiently outside for a glimpse of their hero, endorsed the decision chanting Free the Link and the disconcerting Link, Link, Link…

“He exhibited a masterfully conceived plan of noncommittal avoidance peppered with mumbled double-talk, steering clear of attempts to fence him in on the subject the coming elections.,” said a supporter who had hoped for something more solid from the Link. “Many of us had hoped for a conclusive announcement on his current leanings and even the declaration of his candidacy.”

As he shirked, skirted and side-stepped the issues the Grand Equivocator remained one step ahead of the law. He is wanted in three states for questioning about rogue metaphysics and the origin of the species. After the encounter the Link jumped a 20-foot security fence, slid rat-like under a tight-lipped glass door for and gracefully slithered into a civic fountain where he then vanished.

Police are stepping up operations and beefing up their presence around Pamona Aviary where informants say he is taking flying lessons.

“The world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.” – Horace Walpole