Indian Named as new Police Chief

(Coorsville, Colorado – May 25, 2015

In a surprise announcement City Hall has appointed an American Indian, with no previous law enforcement training to act as the new Chief of Police.
“It seemed the appropriate thing to do,” said Mayor Chuck Jalepena from his desk at the Adobe Bar and Grill downtown. “I mean…like…he’s a real Indian and everybody keeps saying we’ve got too many chiefs and not enough Indians around here. Lazy Horse is a genuine chief too. He told me so himself.”
The new lawman, who calls himself Chief Lazy Horse, was at the mayor’s side for a weekly press conference. He had more than a few comments and announced immediate changes within the department.
“I’m going to rid the force of the haircut restrictions. From now one all officers will be required to wear braids and otter skin in their hair,” explained Horse, “and that goes for the women too.”
All deputies will now ride around on horses instead of patrol cars and carry a bow and arrows as the equalizer according to the new boss.
“There will be no more harassment of Indians and Latinos, Blacks, the homeless and other poor people,” he smiled. “From now on the police will be watching the Yuppies an the rich folks in town. We will avoid racial profiling unless the suspect is in a Volvo or Saab. Anyone wearing a suit on the weekend or driving a mini-van with their hair in curlers will be detained.”
Critics of the move say they fear a complete makeover of the county law enforcement entity which has supported their interests since the Little Bighorn.” – Manco Copac