How to Deal with a Leprechaun

by Padriac McGloo
1. Always make sure his glass is full of Guinness.
2. Don’t be after his gold.
3. Compliment his ability as a shoemaker.
4. Offer him the proverbial second shilling (which he will refuse).
5. Buy him a new hat, pipe and shillelagh every March 16.
6. Consult with him on matters dealing with the banshee and other elves.
7. Have a sturdy mount at his disposal at all times.
8. Be cordial to other wee people when they come to visit. Keep their little glasses full too.
9. Be careful where you step.
10. Refrain from referring to leprechauns as fairies in certain circles.
By following these simple suggestions most mortals can develop a working relationship with leprechauns and avoid falling victim to the mischievousness common to the wee folk. If you accidentally provoke one of these creatures just remember that although they consider humans to be inferior they have a warm spot in their hearts for fools and beggars, be they Irish or other.