Hickenlooper signs bill returning land to Utes

Includes Most of the Uncompahgre Valley

(Special from The Drum Beat – Silverton, CO – April 25, 2015)

In a controversial move Governor John Hickenlooper today signed into law new legislation that effectively returns the Uncompahgre Valley to the Ute Nation.
The unconditional arrangement was agreed to after a short, heated debate. The Ute have been aggressively lobbying both the state house and senate since 2003, insisting that the property was stolen from them due to a series of illegal transfers and lopsided treaties that were never taken seriously by the whites.
“The smoke and mirrors of the 19th Century don’t work anymore,” said a relieved Ute spokesperson. “The treaties and promises were never honored and therefore any and all contracts are null and void.”
Many in the mountain tribe expressed concern as to the priorities of the soon-to-be ex-inhabitants. Did they take care of the place? Is there still infrastructure in place befitting a warrior nation?
“We had the liberal vote in the House since we bought lunch. Most of the folks there on the Front Range don’t know the difference between Ouray and Uruguay. It’s democracy in action,” said another soon-to-be-landlord of these environs.
“The conservatives in the Senate thought the Utes were an endangered river fish on the Yampa. We allowed them to believe what they wanted to believe. They voted for the bill. to look good for the environmentalists. ”
The case sets an incredible precedent in Colorado and the West and may be the first step in what could be a very long and tedious procedure that may ultimately return North America to its rightful owners.
A press release from the tribe’s Denver lawyers clearly stipulates that the current residents will have 90 days to vacate the premises. Many are expected to relocate to Utah. – Gabby Haze