Hashishistan Elects Fudd in Absentia

(Kief) Voters here in the frigid bounds of Eurasia have overwhelmingly approved longtime outfitter Elmer Fudd as Prime Minister for another four years.

After counting ballots overnight it became clear Fudd had not only prevailed but had trounced his opponent Vladimir Buggs by an astounding margin of 3 –1.   

With 80% of the returns in, Fudd was projected as the clear winner although Buggs has claimed fraud and has threatened to demand a recount.

The designated head of government here appeared to be enjoying the balloting that approved his radical agenda. Supporters say he watched the entire event on pumped in Canadian television between hockey games and polar bear sightings.

A controversial campaign promise calls for the immediate and effective end to the rabbit holes that have devastated the economy. One segment even outwardly encourages hunting for rabbit in the wilderness of icy cartoon woodlands nearby.

Fudd then promised that “qualified others will run the show here” while he is beach combing and dining on paella and Serrano ham, well out of range of political enemies.

He and his cronies have been accused  in the disappearances of over 30 political opponents and critics over the past tenure. Denying all allegations related to those who have vanished, Fudd supporters say many have taken refuge within Disney Studios while others have descended into the lower reaches of the comic book culture where lower life expectancy is only an ink splotch away.

As the choice of cuisine might indicate the newly invigorated icon is believed to be residing somewhere in the Mediterranean “Where the weather suits my clothes”. *  It is doubtful whether he will return to Hashishistan before spring.

-Fred Zeppelin

*as deceased singer/ songwriter Harry Nielson once penned in Midnight Cowboy.