Kissinger in Hell

Part VI

Continued from Page 2

and shed light on the Chilean junta’s use of Nescafe in their torture centers in Santiago and Valparaiso in 1975 and 1976. Dr. Kissinger, meanwhile, was busy counseling Augusto Pinochet and his generals in the ways of aggressive social hypnosis, then returning to hell on the weekends as part of a progressive work release program arranged by his attorneys.

According to literate demons, Kissinger, whom they call “Dr. Strangelove”, sits in his cell each evening never complaining of the heat, languishing over lavish plans concocted for the bombing of civilians in Hanoi and Haiphong during the Christmas of 1969. When he grew tired of the nostalgic he would review maneuvers of the Indonesian Army during the murderous invasion East Timor. Haiti, Greece and Panama were next, followed by Bolivia, Laos, the Dominican Republic and El Salvador. Laughing, he would move on to revel in the successes of Operation Condor employed in out-of-the-way places such as Uruguay and Argentina, countries which would “have certainly gone Communist” without his input.

“How many of those leftist mothers, fathers and children did they murder under your direction, Henry,” some interested demon would always ask.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Kissinger would answer. “Maybe a million, maybe less. Who was keeping score? Are you counting Paraguay too?”

After a long life in Paradiso, Kissinger was deemed too old for Purgatorio, with its arduous steps, and sent directly downtown to the Inferno where he now resides with other lost souls. His mansion in Dubai has been seized to pay legal fees in extradition court cases from Brasil to Cambodia.

During those last days when he was still roaming about freely up there he was only welcomed in the United States, Britain, Israel and Dubai since he was wanted for war crimes everywhere else. Finally the  American government relinquished and, as it has done with all of its propped up strongmen and discarded dictators of late, turned on Henry and disallowed his continued “hiding behind the current”. He was seized by a sharp pain in the chest and fell from gentrified grace.

Virgil Coalcarr,  a fellow traveler says Kissinger is fine in hell. He fits in well and is getting enough to eat. His chances of forced extradition to a host of countries is unlikely. Tomorrow the divina comedia continues as Kissinger meets with Pinochet to discuss the arrival of former Paraguayan dictator, Alfredo Stroessner, to their maximum security wing.

In a pre-released statement Kissinger told Pinochet: “The taste of another man’s bread is always the sweetest.”

“The sweetest,” answered the former Chilean dictator, to the smiles of the netherworld guards.

Kissinger, due to his uncanny ability to inflict torment on millions while keeping his starched composure is the first known person to be admitted to hell before he actually died. His status within the Fraternal Order of Gehenna is pending due to his long association with Richard M Nixon, who is housed directly below Kissinger. Earning a

For more on this please turn to Dante on Page 44