Flip Flop Factory Slated for Montrose

(Olathe, CO — Beat Feets Magazine — January 20, 2015) The newly painted Montrose Industrial Plaza will be the home of a flip-flop plant that will turn recycled rubber tires into leisure footwear. The factory and yard will cover 3 square miles and employ 3000 people all at minimum wage.
According to a man wearing a tie at the Office of the Developmentally Beleaguered Committee, the flip-flop industry is green and relatively non-polluting.
“The use of raw materials already in this country is far better than importing necessary materials from China. We know that much,” said the enlightened administrator.
Flip-Flop Ventures Ltd., of Racine, Wisconsin will headquarter all manufacturing, distribution and recycling here while the accounting and administrative offices will remain where they are until next year. Ongoing negotiations with county commissars will determine the size and location of such trivialities as storage for raw materials, chemical waste, safety of the community and rubber aromas.
“We expect everything to run smoothly since our leaders have made nothing but good decisions since around 1990 which spiked the population and brought chronic social problems and traffic snarls to the valley,” said the tie wearer. “That was the year the leaders of Montrose traded a pleasant, rural identity for a mundane, same-old suburban look.”
In addition to the factory Flip-Flop will operate a catalogue store, a seconds outlet and free parking for employees. The plant will run three shifts and be open 24 hours, 7 days a week.
“We choose Montrose because of the quality of life, the unhurried lifestyle and the presence of cheap labor. A ready reserve of discarded tires and, of course your many abandoned rubber plantations on the plateau, played heavily into the formula,” said an executive at FFV.
The footwear, constructed of raw and recycled rubber, will be exported to Third World countries like Telluride and Grand Junction. The facility, as stated, will cover 3 square miles with the industrial unit taking up almost half of that space. The entire erection will be shaped like foot with a massive big toe at the end of it. Developers hope to employ a healthy dose of neon lighting on the toe if they can get by pesky visual and building codes.
Hats off to all of those who worked so hard to bring us this commercial lift and to make this a better community. – Melvin Toolski